Bible Verse of the Day

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Motivation? ***Warning, could be depressing.***

I am so lost for motivation at work. I don't know what to do. Either there's so much to do that I don't know where to start, or there isn't anything to do. I believe it's more of the former and none of the latter. I am on a roller-coaster of emotions, too. I've gained back the 20 pounds I lost last year and then some, I've quit working out at Curves for the last month or two, clothes aren't fitting. You probably know the situation.

Sometimes I get into these moods and I have no idea how I got there or how to get out. I just took three days off from work last week and left town, but of course my job didn't stay at home. With the electronic leash that I wear now, I'm constantly available. I get home from work at the end of the day and the house is hot, even though we have a programmable thermostat. I think the A/C unit needs to be replaced. That costs $$$ and with DH's job in question, who knows when/if it will ever get replaced? All I want to do is lay down and veg-out. Laundry's not getting done, cooking has all but ceased, I'm turning into the world's biggest slob. I HATE IT!!!

We have a ton of work coming up and I know I should be planning it, getting ready, but we've been in a holding pattern for about a month now waiting for our new building to get done. The rain we had last month delayed construction, so everything got pushed back. I'm ready to do something mindless like running cables or terminating them, but I just can't seem to get it going.

I have so much to do at home and the clutter is killing me. I've never been a very good housekeeper, but with three grown men in the house, I can't possibly keep up and the most any of them will do is their own laundry as they need it (except for DH). I have to nag to get them to do anything and usually several times before any of them will get up out of their chairs or off the bed. I've just given up. I know that's not the right thing, but I can't help it.

I take antidepressants, but I'm getting to a state where all they do is keep me from crying uncontrollably. I should be reading the Bible every day, but I can't even get that done. What a mess I am! I guess I'll just have to stop feeling sorry for myself and get up and do what needs to be done, but that mountain is still looming. Sorry to rant, folks, but sometimes you have to get things off your chest. I hope I didn't depress you.

Have a good week.


Suzanne said...

Aww, Karen, I'm sorry. I totally understand, maybe it's not so much you as ??? I was just talking about the state of being a slave to my childrens messes. It's very frustrating! I wish I had good advice for you, but alas, my method has been the same as yours. Just let it go until someone ELSE in my house shares in my disgust. LOL Remember when the children were babies and you thought "it'll get easier when... it'll get easier when..." Noone ever told me that it would get HARDER. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone and sending you tons of hugs! :-)

Jayne said...

So sorry to read your post - I know how frustrating work can get and especially whne you have trouble getting motivated - just seems to get worse. One thing that helped me was making a list and setting a goal. Ex: I will cross off at least 3 things from the list. Try to take little steps instead of looking at the whole big mountain!